also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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