I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
