John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I supernannyed him into submission
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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