i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
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