Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
