You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
