and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
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