I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
