trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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