so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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