I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
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