Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize