I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
