we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
She even gives head with a lisp.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
