it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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