I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Randomize
