the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
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