my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Randomize
