Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
