im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
