I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize