You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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