I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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