i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
