8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Randomize
