addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
You ruined the universe
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