Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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