Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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