How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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