the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
