Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
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