remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Randomize
