Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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