it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Randomize
