i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
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I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Mom said you looked used
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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