so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
