Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
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