You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
