There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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