After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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