im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize