Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
