thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
