We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
