Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
