At least make sure they are 18
Why
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
