it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
