this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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