remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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