Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
