Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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