Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
