Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
i dont even know how to be here
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
