Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
don't judge my taste in strippers
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
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