Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
