Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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