There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
