Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
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