what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
