You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
