Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I fill condoms, not promises.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize